LOOKING AT MATERIALS AND mediums I wiLL EXPERIMENT WITH

White dresses – christening, communion and marriage.

I bought some dresses on eBay. They were used dresses and when I received the packages I wondered what their story was. I noticed the dresses had that smell of old fashioned second hand shops where there is a pungent smell of unwashed clothes, maybe even donated from the drawers of people who have died. It made me think about these actual garments that I was now unpacking and I wondered who they belonged to and when they wore them. Was it a year ago? 10 years ago? 50 years ago? I wondered if what they had once symbolised and represented to the babies, girls and women who wore them had been discarded and mothballed by theses people alongside discarding dresses themselves.

I took the veils and dresses outside and photographed them and I noticed how the veil obscured the beautiful day just as it would obscure the beautiful bride. Looking at the images, especially the first once, the veil looks almost surreal as it fluttered in the afternoon breeze. I was using only the bright early afternoon sunshine but the fabric of the veil looked as if it was lit by ringflash, giving the bizarre quality to the image.

Elder wood (to make poles for washing line). I decided to create a washing line to hang the dresses on. I will have two poles made from thin tree branches. I will use wood from the Elder tree although I don’t want to cut healthy branches just to burn so I will look for broken branches and fallen trees to create my poles. In folklore, the Elder tree is seen as a protector and an avenger. It was believed that its powers included protection from evil spirits, and that an Elder tree would never be struck by lightening. In contrast, she is also seen as an ‘Elder Mother’ who requires permission before harvesting and will curse any who may destroy the tree. In return she will offer protection and regeneration.In the Celtic tree alphabet (called the Ogham) the Elder rules the thirteenth and final month which firmly links the ‘Elder Mother’ with the cycle of life, death and rebirth. The Elder tree can root and grow any part of itself. I found this very moving and hopeful.

The wood that I choose to create the poles is very important because when it is burnt the remnants will form the foundation for my physical piece.

Wooden pegs (often used to make peg dolls). I will decorate the pegs into dolls as I want to convey the static ideal that dolls can represent to girls. I also want the pegs to burn alongside the washing line and the dresses as I am hoping there will be remnants left.

Fresh earth, seeds and seedlings. These I will place in amongst my final piece once it is burned and crumbled into a charred pile. I want to represent something new, tender and fresh will grow out from even the most burned and broken thing. I find this hopeful.

Equipment needed to create piece.

• Video camera and tripod to record the event.
• Blowtorch and fuel.
• Dresses, washing line and poles.
• Fresh earth and seeds

CONNECTIONS WITH TREES

I found myself really interested in the symbology of the trees in mythology and ancient cultures. I was reminded of the work of Ai Weiwei in his series called “Trees” that is an ongoing work for him but he began it in 2009. In ancient Chinese culture, trees are seen as important counterparts to the dead on earth, the realm between heaven and the underworld. Weiwei took pieces of dead trees that are sold in the markets of the Jiangxi province. He imagines what the tree could look like and creates it using the dead pieces. I see this as a way of linking the past to the present and recreating something new and monumental.

BURNING EXPERIMENTS

I started gathering twigs and dried grass for some initial burning trials. I did these on large old granite rock which made the whole experience feel almost ritualistic.

EXPERiMENT with dye

I tried working with dye and fabric and how it might look if I let the colour be sucked up by the white fabric. It worked well with cotton but the veil of the dress is nylon and it doesn’t appear to absorb so well.

DYED FABRIC trials AND THINKING OF PAULA REGO

I decided to cut off the end of the nylon veil as it was soaked in dye but it had not absorbed the colour in the way I had hope. I was struck how the cut off piece of fabric looked in the bucket and it made me think of the Abortion Pastels by Paula Rego. Although we cannot see inside the buckets that are in the Triptych, we are in no doubt what the bucket will hold. I find these images of Rego’s extraordinarily powerful. The women are clearly young and Rego portrays their vulnerability but also she show them in their magnificence, bravery and pain. Rego produced this series to show the reality of many women in Portugal when abortion was illegal but for me it also shows how these women are left alone to deal with the consequences of sex. Once the pleasure has been had, they deal with the pain. The discarded fabric looked brutal and I saw a connection between the purity that is expected in the wearer of these ceremonial dresses and the young women who found themselves pregnant in a country where, at the time, they did not have the right to choose abortion. Although I had not originally intended this and had only cut off the end of the veil for convenience, once severed from the dress, the dress remained white, homoginised, bleached of colour, difference, individuality. But the discarded piece of dyed veil looked almost fleshy, like it had been cut from a body and was glistening with blood. I felt there was a powerful contrast to the to the dry, white, starched dress and the wet, bloody, pooled veil in the bucket.

More dye experiments

Using a cotton dress I tried again and although the dye absorbed more, it didn’t really achieve what I wanted so I feel I’ve explored this area as fully as time allows in this project and I will not incorporate into final piece although i am very happy with the nylon fabric images that made me think of Paula Rego.

Sketching ideas

This has helped me work out exactly how I want the final piece to look. It’s also helped me think about the logistics of how tall the frame should be? how will I attach the dresses? How can I get everything to burn evenly at the same time? How will I film it and actually do the burning at the same time? It’s also helped me refine my ideas and be realistic in what I can achieve for the final result.